I would like to discuss a sensitive topic regarding my aversion to physical touch. If this subject matter makes you uncomfortable, please feel free to skip this post.
In my early years, I recall having a positive attitude towards physical touch, finding it enjoyable. However, as I reflect on physical touch in my life, I realize that my preference for it is limited to situations involving individuals I love, trust, and feel comfortable with, those who provide a sense of security.
One reason for my aversion to touch is rooted in a lack of trust and comfort around many people. The act of hugging or showing affection through physical contact implies caring and love, qualities that I struggle to express openly. I tend to communicate my affection through actions rather than words or touch. For example, acts of kindness, attentiveness, thoughtful gestures, or simply remembering my preferences are more meaningful to me than physical touch.
I grew up in an environment where spanking and using belts for discipline were considered acceptable parenting methods. While I won’t delve into the details, I can acknowledge that my parents, who were relatively young when they became parents, made mistakes in their approach. As an adult, I have forgiven them and don’t wish to portray myself as a victim. However, I firmly disagree with physical punishment as a means of discipline.
What made it particularly challenging was the juxtaposition of physical punishment with forced displays of affection. We were expected to hug and kiss our parents even when emotionally distressed from physical punishment. This led to a sense of coerced love, rather than sincere affection. Refusing to comply resulted in threats, rudeness, and control, at times even manipulation.
Additionally, I was raised in a religious environment where I was compelled to hug people in the church, even those I didn’t feel comfortable around. Failure to do so could lead to false accusations, punishment, and forced apologies to those who had wronged me. This further contributed to my aversion to physical touch.
Over time, my aversion to touch has persisted. I rarely hug people, including my parents, and I no longer express ‘I love you’ verbally. Instead, I prefer to build better relationships through actions.
I want to emphasize that I am not attempting to cast blame or victimize myself. Rather, I aim to highlight the potential consequences of physical punishment on a child’s mental well-being. Having experienced mental health challenges myself, I can attest to its impact.
When I shared my perspective against spanking and physical punishment, I encountered criticism from some individuals who disagreed. Despite the negativity, I firmly believe that understanding and communicating with children, rather than resorting to physical discipline, is essential for healthy parenting.
In conclusion, this post serves to shed light on the importance of respecting individuals’ preferences for physical touch. Not everyone desires hugs or displays of affection, and it’s crucial to be considerate of their boundaries. Judging someone based on their level of physical affection can be unfair, as you may not know the experiences and healing journeys they’ve undertaken. Let’s be kind, understanding, and respectful towards those who choose not to engage in physical touch or verbal expressions of love.
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Respecting boundaries is key. Thanks for your openness. XoXo
Went through something similar in my childhood. Thank you for sharing🙏