woman with long manicure taking notes in copybook

To The People Who Talked About My Body

A Open Letter To the People Who Talked About My Body

To the People Who Talked About My Body,

Why did you feel the need to comment on my body? Why did you feel the need to talk to me and/or others about my body? My body is not something that you had the right to talk about.

When you said my ankles were too small and that I needed to eat more to gain weight, your words hurt. Why did you feel like you had the right to talk about my body?

To the people who told me I was now beautiful when I started barely eating food and was underweight; why did you talk to other people about my weight as if you had nothing else to talk about?

Why did you talk about my sex life like it was the most important thing for you?

Do you remember when you told me to not put hand sanitizer on because the most important thing for me was to be a mother and that using hand sanitizer could lead to me not being able to get pregnant.

Do you remember the ‘Mother’s Day’ you told me, ‘one day you will be a mother?’

It’s my body, not yours.

Remember when you told me to wear long sleeves and over sized clothes because your husband was looking at me.

Your husband had no right to look at me and sexualized me, remember at that time I was a minor.

Now that I am adult, you can’t wait till I’m married with children.

You talk about my boobs, bottom, lips.

Why do people feel they have the right to say these things? Why did you make me feel disgusting with myself?

Some of you were 5, 10 , 20 years older than me and yet you had to talk about my body.

Why did you comment to me, how thin I am, or how big I am?

You made me feel like I was not good enough or just a sexualized thing.

You made me feel ugly and nasty about my body.

You have no right to talk about my body. You have no right to me.

You are no longer in my thoughts.

I hope you learn your lesson, and you get the help you need. If you feel the need to talk to me about my body and/or talk to other people about my body, you need some serious help.

You did this to me when I was as young as 12 years old to now as I am adult. I don’t allow you in my life no more.

I forgive you but I will not allow you to speak about my body no more.

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  1. The post really made me think, and brought up some ghosts I apparently need to deal with those… “You’d be so pretty, if you only lost weight.” “Boy’s won’t want you, if you don’t lose weight.” “You have such a pretty face.” The ghosts I face each day, even though I’ve lost 120 pounds and kept it off for 8 years after a lifetime of being extremely overweight. Good writing makes us think… and your post did that. 🙂

  2. This is such a great post and gives good perspective on how we all live our day to day lives and what we choose to say to or about one another. Thank you for this.

  3. Holy–I’m so sorry that people have been so awful. These are powerful memories and thoughts. A lot of people are helping create an incredibly creepy culture. Thank you for sharing.

  4. other people wants to find fault to others because of their insecurities, its either we walk away from them or talk and let them hear our perspective

  5. I’m so sad that you had the experiences behind this post, but thank you for sharing, and I’m glad you’ve stayed strong enough to move on.

  6. I am always amazed at how many people think it is appropriate to talk about one’s appearance. Nothing makes me more uncomfortable, even if it is a compliment.

  7. It takes a lot of courage to share a story like this. I think it is a comfort to others who have had similar experiences to know they are not alone. Stay strong.

  8. Whoa, absolutely love this post!
    Amazing idea for a journal exercise that I should try out. thank you for sharing

  9. I felt every word of this! From the moment we hit puberty (and even before), women get endless comments…

    “Don’t wear that – it’s too revealing!”
    “Can’t you wear something more flattering?”
    “Have you put on weight?”
    “Are you eating enough?”
    “Nice a**” / “Nice t**s”

    It’s infuriating and dehumanising! I love the way you speak up about it and set boundaries in this post. It’s like an open letter to everyone who’s ever made unsolicited comments about someone else’s body. Thank you for sharing these words!

  10. Excellent post and very necessary for those who do these things to become more aware of how they make the person feel no matter their age. It took strength for you to own your body. Thank you for sharing and being so vulnerable.

    Pastor Natalie

  11. Some people just view women this way. This negative way of thinking is degrading and superficial. You are correct, they have no right to talk or even look at your body in this way.

  12. hello, I love this post and it’s entire meaning. The negative way people view others is very degrading and needs to change, but thank you for sharing this great post! Alicia

  13. I understand exactly how you feel, most of us have been through this road.
    What I learned is that its important to:
    1. Understand that we’re not perfect
    2. Accept our imperfections and working out to developing our shape/self-care
    3. Tune out all that noise, be confident and be proud of yourself.
    Don’t waste time pleasing others- focus on yourself!

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