Bad Handwriting, Big Lessons: On Value, Growth, and Choosing My Battles
This one is a lot more personal than my usual posts, but I’ve always used this blog as a place to be honest — so here goes.
The Handwriting Story
I was homeschooled from a young age through elementary school, then attended a private school from sixth grade all the way through senior year, followed by college in person. My handwriting was never great growing up, and I got teased for it. But by the time I was in college, it had actually improved a lot — people told me it looked pretty good.
Then life happened. I went through a really difficult stretch where my mental health declined significantly — a couple of years where I was unemployed, followed by a couple of years working remotely, during which I rarely handwrote anything. Without practice, my handwriting slipped back to looking like a child’s.
These days, handwriting is occasionally part of my work, and it’s something I’ve had to adjust to again. A comment about it once caught me off guard and brought up old feelings tied to being homeschooled and judged for something that felt out of my control. It’s easy to feel boxed into a stereotype in moments like that. But I’m learning to hold onto the fact that my handwriting doesn’t define my intelligence, my education, or my worth.
Learning to Choose My Battles at Work
Like a lot of people, I’m learning to navigate workplace dynamics with grace — moments where recognition doesn’t always land where it should, or where it’s easy to feel overlooked. It’s made me reflect on my own worth at times, even though I know deep down I’m capable and reliable.
I’m still figuring out how to feel valued and appreciated without needing that validation to come from external recognition or from constantly proving myself. I want to do meaningful work and be seen as capable — not defined by any one moment or comparison.
Friendship, Faith, and Wanting More
Outside of work, I’ve been putting effort into building friendships — including through dating apps — with mixed results. Some connections faded out, and I’ve had to make peace with not knowing exactly why. I’ve also been praying about finding romance and building the kind of full life — friendships, relationship, purpose — that I’ve wanted for a long time.
Where I’m At Now
If there’s a common thread through all of this — the handwriting, the work reflections, the friendships, the faith — it’s that I’m actively trying not to let my past define how I see myself. I want to feel confident in who I am and what I’m capable of, not just be someone who’s “gotten by.” I know I still have anxiety to work through, and I know I’m still learning. But I’m proud of how far I’ve come this past year, and I’m committed to keep growing, one day at a time.
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Whatever life takes you, enjoy your life. Think positive, and be positive.
–Always look to the rising sky
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