For almost three years, I worked a part-time job with no benefits while searching for a full-time opportunity that aligned with my career goals. I eventually landed a position at a well-known organization through a referral. It seemed like a great opportunity—full-time hours, benefits, and significantly better pay. However, I quickly realized things were not what they seemed.
From the start, there were red flags. I was invited to interview without knowing the role or job title. The interviewer was late by over an hour, and the actual interview was disorganized, interrupted repeatedly, and lacked structure. Despite this, I was offered the position on the same day. Excited by the potential, I accepted.
The onboarding experience was chaotic. On my first day, I was rushed into a room, given a broken computer, and told to start watching orientation videos—without even a proper greeting. I was never briefed on breaks, work expectations, or the layout of the building. Instructions were vague and inconsistent, and my supervisor was largely unavailable or disengaged.
Training felt rushed and unclear. I was expected to learn complicated software without guidance. When I shadowed my supervisor, she barely acknowledged me, and I often had to figure things out on my own. Over time, I realized that even she was not following procedures correctly.
As time passed, the work environment deteriorated. I was frequently blamed for things outside of my control—sometimes for incidents that happened when I wasn’t even involved. Even coworkers noticed the unfair treatment. It became clear that I was being used as a scapegoat.
The final straw came when a someone, during a conversation, physically grabbed me while a manager was present. When I defended myself verbally, I was reprimanded, while no consequences were given to the other party. I was told that staying “professional” was more important than addressing the physical aggression I experienced.
I had tried to stick it out, hoping to transfer to a better department after six months. But by then, the emotional toll had become overwhelming. I wasn’t myself. I began reacting poorly—gossiping, venting, and using inappropriate language out of frustration. These weren’t habits I was proud of, and I take full responsibility for that behavior.
I want to be clear: I was professional in the beginning and have been in other roles. I’ve even been recognized for my performance at previous jobs. But this environment broke me down in a way I had never experienced before.
Eventually, I resigned. It was abrupt and emotional. I admit that I made mistakes in how I handled my exit, including reacting in frustration during an HR meeting. While I wish I had responded differently, I learned valuable lessons.
Here’s what I’ve taken away from this experience:
Don’t ignore red flags, no matter how attractive the job looks on paper. Toxic work environments can affect your mental, emotional, and physical health. Never stay in a place where you are not respected or where the abuse continues. Gossiping and venting may feel like release, but they are not healthy coping tools. Your reaction matters—especially when things are hard.
I also learned the importance of emotional self-regulation. In the past, when I felt deeply hurt or disrespected, I sometimes lashed out verbally. I recognize now that this isn’t the way to handle conflict, and I’m working on healthier, more professional ways to communicate—even under pressure.
Since leaving that position, I’ve found a new job in a much healthier environment, and the difference is night and day. I’m grateful for that. I’ve had time to reflect, heal, and grow from this experience.
This is not a post to point fingers or place blame. It’s to share my personal truth, hold myself accountable, and hopefully encourage someone else who might be going through something similar. If you’re in a toxic work environment, please know: you are not alone, you are not crazy, and you are not weak for choosing to leave.
Sometimes the best decision you can make for your health and future is to walk away. Healing isn’t linear, and mistakes don’t define you. What matters is what you learn—and who you choose to become afterward.
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Well written! We learn a lot from experience and that lesson gives us a good power to make the right decision. Well shared